If we don’t cry, where do the tears go?
Today
I just spoke with a friend this morning, it has been a rough couple of days. She was feeling low, inadequate, wondering if she has been making the right decisions, ect. She spoke, I listened, I spoke, she listened, there were tears. At the end of the conversation, she asked, “if someone cries why don’t we just ask if everything is ok, and if it is, just move on?”
The Other Day
There was a woman that I worked with that told me, as her eyes were filling up with tears, “don’t mind me, I cry a lot.” I told her I did too. A few weeks later, she told me that was the best thing I could have done for her. There was nothing to talk about, she just needed some space to feel her feelings, share a few tears and then go on with her day. Sharing this is not a brag on my part, I just understood what she needed because that is exactly what I need too.
Every Day
I am blessed with family that gets this.
Mostly in the Past
“Don’t look at me” has been the most consistent voice in my head my whole life. I used to get horrible panic attacks but after therapy and reading and listening to lots of books and getting out of some terrible personal relationships, they have subsided. I rarely get them now. There is probably so much more to figure out but honestly, it is so much better than it used to be, I am grateful.
Something I heard recently was, if you don’t cry the tears, they will go somewhere else. I assume this means the sadness, pain or whatever caused the tears will just manifest somewhere else in your body or maybe even change into another emotion that you may not truly feel at your core but are more comfortable feeling.
The Future
When you grow and make changes, so many feelings come up. It can be challenging to figure them all out, let alone feel them in a healthy way. So I propose that if we need to cry, we should cry. If someone cries in front of us, and they say they are ok, create a safe space for them to get those tears out so they don’t go somewhere else.
Thank you for reading.
